Running

Running. It still sucks.

I’ve been running for what feels like an eternity, but is actually more like a couple of months. It is a hateful way to spend your time.

Really, what I suppose sucks the most about it is the realization that I’m getting older. Once upon a time, I could run my little heart out and the next day run a little further. Now, I run my little heart out and I’m lucky if I can walk properly the next day. There are aches where there shouldn’t be aches. There are pains in body parts I didn’t even know I had. Ironically, I started running to extend my mortality not dwell on it.

And this, this is the truly shitty bit: we all have to learn it, every one of us. Writing and speech are really quite crude when it comes to communicating ideas. I knew I would get older. I knew it would hurt. That said, it hasn’t helped one damn bit. Reality just can’t be encapsulated in a couple of truisms, a few simple syllables, passed from your lips to my ears. I can see this so clearly as I watch my daughter grow and learn. Five and five make ten. A simple thing, but it was meaningless to her until she looked down and saw five fingers next the five fingers that really were also ten fingers.

We learn by doing, by seeing, by feeling, and by experiencing. Even the things that we think we know aren’t always as real as we trust them to be. I thought I knew what a mile was, until I had to push my short, chubby legs to run one for the first time. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time, I used to run every day in college. That was a different me though. He was 100 pounds lighter and more than 10 years younger. Even he thought running sucked. But if I didn’t do it, I’d never know. And if I don’t do it, there are other things I might never get the chance to do. I’ll never know what it’s like to walk on the moon, but there are a lot of things I want to know and do right here on Earth. Things I want to do and see and feel.

So, I’ll keep running. I’ll keep learning.

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