iPhone 4S – finally!

Initiate Rant

To all the tech pundits: go fuck yourselves. I don’t understand the hyperbole and bullshit that gets credited as news in today’s twenty-four hour news cycle and it seems to me that the tech crowd are perhaps the worst of the lot.

Everything is hyperbole and disenchanted hipster bullshit. The iPhone 4S is a ‘huge disappointment’ according to many, despite the fact that the iPhone 4 was selling well up until the day of release. What these ‘news’ people don’t seem to understand is that everyone doesn’t need a six month release cycle with the reinvention of the unicorn and magical fairies. The 4S is double the speed at the same price, with a new camera, and a holy-shit-I-can-talk-to-my-phone Personal Assistant, and yet the form factor hasn’t changed is somehow a ‘massive failure’. The phone can understand plain english. It will make appointments for you, take dictation, read you your email and do web searches for you. This is welcome to the future type shit, but because the body style is staying the same for 2 years in a row Apple has ‘opened the door’ for Nokia? What? The iPhone 4 is fucking gorgeous, why on earth would they change it just to change it? I think this is the thing that nerd media just doesn’t get: if it ain’t broke, you don’t need to fix it.

The underlying problem, I believe, is this attention grabbing, eyeballs on, click-through monetization mentality. A site only exists or means anything as a website if it has 10K clicks a day so no amount of disingenuous hyperbolization or evidence free speculation is too much. So anyone that wants to make money or ‘be someone’ has to let shit pour freely between their lips because there just isn’t enough well documented and genuinely interesting news to drive the traffic that they need (or perhaps more accurately there isn’t enough creativity and intelligence behind the ‘news’ to find well documented and genuinely interesting stories).

I drive a desk all day long. According to my browser there are only about 15 events worth mentioning in a day, though they bear mentioning thousands of times each. Maybe this is because everyone that is doing the mentioning is also driving a desk, and isn’t really getting out there and looking at the world around them. The few hours a week I get to step away from the desk I see things that are happening that will never make the news and yet probably could. People live and die, lives move forward and unfold like stories, but all I get to hear about is the latest celebrity nipple slip, the latest phone, and a war that is waging on without my support.

End Rant (for now).

Leave a Reply