Dropped Calls

Warning! Warning! Rant imminent!

Surfing through Facebook this morning, because I was all done with my other forms of procrastination and not quite ready to get down to business, I came across a little quote about how everyone should treat their Bible just like their cellphone. I won’t quote it here, I don’t actually know the person it came from because it was one of those awkward situations where Facebook decided I need to see stuff from outside my friend list just because someone I do know had clicked ‘Like’. Anyway, in essence the quote was filled with pleasantries about how if everyone treated their Bible like their cellphone they’d: look at it everyday, give it as a gift to their children, receive messages through it, go home for it if we accidentally forgot it, etc.

I have two major issues with arguments like this. One is my opposition to evangelizing, but honestly that’s not my major beef here. I just honestly dislike hokey one-sided arguments that are somehow intended to make me see ‘the light’, regardless if it’s God’s Light, the GOP’s, or hell, even a liberal line of thinking. In in honor of that, allow me to provide a counter view:

If we all treated our Bibles like our cellphones:
1. We’d never leave home without it because we believe its value is immeasurable, forgetting that the majority of humanity has gotten along without it. You’d also be hoping to find a better deal or newer model from a different provider every single year.
2. We’d look at it everyday. Ok, fair enough.
3. We’d give them as gifts to our children, but you’d have to take them away when your teenagers started using them the wrong way.
4. You’d look at it at the dinner table instead of talking to your friends and family all around you.
5. You’d use it while driving, putting yourself and everyone around you at risk.
6. You’d complain about all the things it didn’t do exactly the way you wanted.
7. Your grandparents would constantly ask you how to use it and never remember what you told them.
8. You’d ignore any messages you didn’t feel like dealing with at the moment.

Anyone getting all revved up, please take a moment and realize this isn’t an attack on you or your God. This is an attack on poorly approached arguments.

End Rant.

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